I love black thongs
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
