and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
