There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize