I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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