yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
