Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
