she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize