I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
