he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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