I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
