We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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