just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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