Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
