This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
