she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I just sharted jello shots
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