I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
