hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Houston, we have a squirter
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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