glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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