So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
