Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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