so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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