What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
