Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
