Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
