I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
