Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
