her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
