It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
