Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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