just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
