last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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