and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
vagina is talking i cant
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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