She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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