please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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