FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is the high leading the old right now
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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