it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
