Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
