Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
