Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
