redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
