I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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