At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
