I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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