All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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