Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize