Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
