jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I can't put those talents on a resume
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
