So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
this is an emotional support booty call
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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