Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
