Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
