The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
