i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize