Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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