careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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