I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
