i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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