So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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