And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
