what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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