I'd wear matching sweaters with you
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
