Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
do nipples grow back?
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