Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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