sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize